luna (summonerluna) wrote in audgepaudge,

is there another way out?

well, suicide. what an incredibly touchy subject, so improper to be discussed in polite company.

but well, we aren't exactly polite on a forum who's point i getting people's opinion on issues, and if there ever were an issue, this is one.

i believe there are two sides to suicide. there is the emotional desire, and there is the verbal desire. when you are locked in your room by yourself, holding the knife, you're experiencing the emotional desire...things around you have become so tough, and so unbearable that you well...can't bear it. you would rather end your life than have to face another day as yourself. maybe you hate who you've become, maybe you feel like you're completely misunderstood, or maybe you feel like nobody likes you and they'd be better off without you. this post is not to dissuade anyone from feeling like that, or to try and convince people that they are worthwhile...i've been there. nothing anyone else says will do you any good.

point? there is something inside of you that truly does not want to live anymore, and it's little affected by anyone else. it's your own feelings, your own thoughts, your own emotions.

then, there's the verbal desire. what's this? feining, loudly proclaiming that you might as well go kill yourself, moping and moaning about how your life sucks and that you have nothing left to live for. what? why tell someone? in letting someone know how you feel, aren't you just begging to be reassured? are you so arrogant that you think people will stop whatever they are doing just because your poor little ego got stubbed? it's a lot easier to go up to someone and tell them straight up that you're feeling unhappy, than to hint that you want to die. because if you want to die that badly, you'd go ahead and do it. you wouldn't puss out and whine about it, waiting for somebody to nurse your head back to it's original swollen size.

i'm not going to say that i pity people who are silent but active in their want to kill themselves; pity is not what they need, love, understanding, and an open ear would be more helpful. but honestly...whining about wanting to kill yourself is not the way to get attention, or to make people like you...because when you spend so much time talking about it, you aren't're crying wolf. and eventually the shepards stop running to look.
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