luna (summonerluna) wrote in audgepaudge,

is there another way out?

well, suicide. what an incredibly touchy subject, so improper to be discussed in polite company.

but well, we aren't exactly polite on a forum who's point i getting people's opinion on issues, and if there ever were an issue, this is one.

i believe there are two sides to suicide. there is the emotional desire, and there is the verbal desire. when you are locked in your room by yourself, holding the knife, you're experiencing the emotional desire...things around you have become so tough, and so unbearable that you well...can't bear it. you would rather end your life than have to face another day as yourself. maybe you hate who you've become, maybe you feel like you're completely misunderstood, or maybe you feel like nobody likes you and they'd be better off without you. this post is not to dissuade anyone from feeling like that, or to try and convince people that they are worthwhile...i've been there. nothing anyone else says will do you any good.

point? there is something inside of you that truly does not want to live anymore, and it's little affected by anyone else. it's your own feelings, your own thoughts, your own emotions.

then, there's the verbal desire. what's this? feining, loudly proclaiming that you might as well go kill yourself, moping and moaning about how your life sucks and that you have nothing left to live for. what? why tell someone? in letting someone know how you feel, aren't you just begging to be reassured? are you so arrogant that you think people will stop whatever they are doing just because your poor little ego got stubbed? it's a lot easier to go up to someone and tell them straight up that you're feeling unhappy, than to hint that you want to die. because if you want to die that badly, you'd go ahead and do it. you wouldn't puss out and whine about it, waiting for somebody to nurse your head back to it's original swollen size.

i'm not going to say that i pity people who are silent but active in their want to kill themselves; pity is not what they need, love, understanding, and an open ear would be more helpful. but honestly...whining about wanting to kill yourself is not the way to get attention, or to make people like you...because when you spend so much time talking about it, you aren't're crying wolf. and eventually the shepards stop running to look.
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Suicide must be the single most selfish act a person can commit. My closest friend on earth took his own life a little under a year ago, and I'm still just now recovering. Nothing anyone has ever done to me has hurt as much as that did. A suicide dies once, the people they leave behind die a million times over grieving.
I feel for anyone who feels that things are so bad that there is no other way to resolve things, and I would do anything I could to help anybody who was at that point. But I still can't understand how one could make such a choice, knowing all the consequences.
this is true. i have many friends who often are depressed and tell me that they want to kill themselves. i do what they want--reassure them, tell them they're needed, etc---because it's all true. but it makes it hard for me to believe that any of them would actually do it, since they are usually all talk. it makes it harder to see the warning signs in someone that really does need help. and i missed them entirely in one of my best friends, only thank god it didn't work. i don't know what i would have done...
to add to that... i agree that suicide is selfish. but sometimes when you are in that position, you don't know what else to do. all you can think about is how desperate you feel. sometimes you need to be reminded that there are actually people who care and would miss you, that there is SOMETHIGN to live for. because it's hard to remember all that when you're in a low point. all you can think is that no one would care and that it would make all that hurt, all that pain go away... i have been at the point where i seriously considered it... but i would never do it, ebcause it would hurt others. and you never know what's around the bend -- perhaps something AWESOME! and there's always SOMEONE that cares, i know it. i've seen all the cycles of it, i've experienced some, and i can be sympathetic. but still... don't do it! there are so much more worthwhile things...

like my friend i was talking about... gawd, if he had actually died... i don't think i could even be on here right now. it would be days of me crying and crying... my best friend in the world and i couldn't help him! i didn't even realize that at that moment in time he needed the help! what a great best friend i am, huh? and because of that someone awesome could have left this world... i know it wouldn't REALLY be my fault... but to be left without him around.. :*(

argh, i could go on forever. but i think i'll end it there.
Oh shit, I wrote this huge thing about suicide and I dont know what to say now. It was so bitter and long and I dont want that. I will keep it short. It is selfish, rude, disgusting, and pointless. Whether you believe in a god or not, no good will come after death in that fashion. And if you feel the need to kill yourself rather than talking to a friend about your problems, be my guest. If you dont want my help, you dont want my sympathy. I hate it so much. I would take it as an insult if a friend killed themself. I would be more mad than sad. At least I say so. I would die inside if I found someone dear to me did it, Im sure. Either kill yourself or please be open with your feelings so you can be helped if life is so bad. I havent been so close as to committing suicide, but I have given it serious thought. Who hasnt? All you need is one reason not to. I think of people who would have to deal with it and the fear that it will do no good for myself either. Just hope you find that reason to live and also that Im never on the other end of the suicide help line. Ouch, Im mean
you cant understand unless you've been there yourself... but its possible to be way beyond caring about anyone else, simply because its not about anyone else or how they feel... the pain festering inside of you overpowers that, and its about escaping from that pain, the only way you know how...
Eh, you are probably right about not understanding until Ive been there, but ya know, I dont want to be there. You could only really get there when you run out of those reasons. Ive always found more than one.
hahaa... i sound like a fuckin goth.

i know how low it gets, love, i've certainly been just bugs me to no earthly end, people that threaten suicide soley as a means of getting attention. it positively makes me sick.


September 26 2002, 13:22:28 UTC 14 years ago

Suicide is an escape from the austere world of hate and savagery. It is a last resort made by the ones that cannot sustain their emotions in a corrupt world. If life ever gets that close to that being the only solution then so be it. It is a crime against my belief yet it will answer the questions that bleed in the minds of all. Like many of the people speak, there should be no sympathy for the ones who suffer with the emotions in the world. If this is true then the ones committing suicide have every more right and reason to do it then there own self demise. Selfish shellfish.
Trying to talk with someone about suicide is beyond difficult if it has been seriously accepted as the only choice to take the pain away. I will never condemn the ones who took their own life or the ones who ponder it. Reality is surrounded by too much suffering for us all to continue living. Waiting for death makes it even worse. So in conclusion from a pessimist, if you want to smoke, do drugs, kill yourself, whatever it is that doesn’t involve hurting another PHYSICALLY then do it. Life is too long to continuously fight the pain.
From the correlation of Camases in the South of North Dakota. Luther's rebellion 1907-2005